One Night
by Jillian1
Summary: After “all things,” a lot needs to be said… And done. (Post-episode)


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TITLE: One Night

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AUTHOR: Jillian

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SPOILERS: All Things

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KEYWORDS: Post-episode MSR, RST

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TIMEFRAME: Immediately after "all things."

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RATING: PG-13 for adult themes. Sex is discussed but there are no descriptions or anything graphic (or non graphic, for that matter.)

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FEEDBACK: Yes, please! Who says no to feedback? Seriously, I live for reviews, positive or negative. Post them here at fanfiction.net or if you prefer send me an e-mail at JILLIBEAN@aol.com

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SUMMARY: After "all things," a lot needs to be said… And done. (Post-episode)

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own the X-Files, Scully, Mulder, or anybody else in this story. I didn't even make up one to throw in there! Anyways, they all belong to CC, FOX, 1013, and the actors or actresses who portray them. No infringement was intended and no profit will be made. 

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AUTHORS **NOTES**: "all things" was wonderfully done. I love every aspect of it, so many compliments are owed to Gillian Anderson for writing and directing, both of which she did amazingly. Anyway, we all know just a short while later, Scully was pregnant with her and Mulder's child. This may or may not be how it happened--hell, they could have done it fifty times after this. Anyways, this story kind of turns into a morning-after story… But it's all MSR so never fear. Just had to throw in angst somewhere!

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"One wrong turn and we wouldn't be sitting here together. Well, that says a lot. Says a lot, a lot, a lot. I mean, it's probably more than we should be getting into at this late hour." He says.

I've been fighting sleep for the past few minutes, and I finally give in after hearing that last sentence. I realize, right before I drift off, he probably thinks I didn't hear him. I did, though, and thankfully so. I'd have to take him up on this conversation when it wasn't so late at night. Lord knows I've wanted to tell him for years how I feel about him, but I can't. Not now, as I'm drifting away to sleep. I wish I could tell him now--I'm having a moment where it all seems so clear. I've never been so sure in my life I took the right path... I've never been so sure I love him. I feel him shift and look at me, even though my eyes are closed. I can always tell when his eyes are on me... At the office, in the field, when we're together like this. It makes me wonder, it makes me almost sure, that the feelings I have for him are in fact mutual. Just as I drift off I notice he moves a piece of my hair out of my face. I fade into sleep a very happy woman.

I suddenly realize I am not on Mulder's couch, but in someone's arms. Confused, I look up and see Mulder above me. I look around, and realize I'm in his hallway, heading towards the bedroom. Now, I'm very confused. My mind starts racing through scenarios, what's happening--what could happen--what I wish would happen. I look up at him, and he finally notices I'm awake and meets my gaze.

"What's going on, Mulder?" I ask tiredly.

"I didn't want to wake you, but I couldn't leave you on the couch when there's a bed inside." He said. We walked through the door to the bedroom and plopped me down on the bed.

"Thank you, Mulder, but I don't want to banish you to the couch." I smile.

"That's fine, Scully, I sleep there most of the time anyway." He grins.

"Mm.." I sigh. "Lay down with me, Mulder." I hear myself say, without thinking about saying it first. Maybe clarity isn't such a good thing. I'm sure it's interrupted as harmless, we were laying together just before in the living room. 

He says nothing, but just lies down next to me. Every single moment of my life, all the choices I've made, essentially, all the things I've done, have led up to this point. The moves I regarded to as stupid mistakes, the career change my family pleaded with me not to make, even the Ed Jerse tattoo fiasco--all of it, every single thing I've done, have led to this. Mulder and I laying in bed together. Nothing has been done or said, and awkward silence fills the air. The past two days have changed me, beyond belief. I've seen a vision--not that I never see visions, I have (and I hate admitting it), but I never saw one this powerful. It was like my entire life flashed before me. I saw Emily, my mother, Smoking Man, and then Daniel. Dying. He didn't actually die, but to me he's dead. That part of me is dead. 

If I didn't see Daniel, I wouldn't have noticed all of this, that I'm a different person that I used to be. A better person? Who knows. At least I wear better suits now. What if I had transferred to Salt Lake City? The most intimate moment we would have had would be the almost-kiss in the hallway. If I didn't run into Mulder outside the hospital, maybe I wouldn't have ended up in his apartment tonight. There truly is a greater intelligence behind all things. I cannot explain or even fathom some of it, but it is there. 

It was time to say something. Things between Mulder and I had been escalating over the past few months. It began with the embrace in the hallway, that was so close to becoming a kiss. We became closer and closer with one another, but then he got sick... I thought I might lose him but he held on. Suddenly Diana Fowley showed up and I was reminded that I wasn't with Mulder, and she had been, but I still held on to Mulder when he needed someone to be there. We beat the opposition, and thankfully, I beat out Diana Fowley for Mulder's friendship. I know she may have saved him, but I cannot bring myself to like her in the least. Then, on New Years Eve, we shared a kiss a bit longer than one that's between two friends. Since then, a lot had happened between us. Donnie Pfaster returned, seriously throwing off my sense of everything, Mulder solved the mystery of his sister Samantha, and I ditched Mulder to take a dangerous journey with the Smoking Man, who pointed out to me that I won't let myself love Mulder. It was time to let myself love him, it was time to approach telling him.

"Mulder," I begin, as he turns to face me. "About choosing paths, about them leading up to this very moment, us together right now.." I pause, and he just nods his head. "I, I'm glad I didn't chose a different path. If I could do it all over again, I'd do it the exact same way." I finish.

"So would I." He replied.

"It all happened at such an odd time. If it didn't happen, I probably never would have seen how different I've become. When I saw Daniel, he said I had a life here, and I was so unsure of what I had. What I could have." I say quietly.

He takes a moment to think about what I said, and I think about it too. For a moment I'm afraid I've moved into dangerous territory. What if I was wrong, what if he doesn't love me? It's a silly and juvenile fear, I tell myself, pushing it out of my mind. He puts his hand on my face, cradling my head, moving his hand back and forth on my cheek.

"You could have a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot." He says, repeating his words from earlier in the evening. Then, he says it.

"Scully, I love you. I've told you that before, and I meant it." He says. No more hiding it, Dana, you have to tell him how you feel.

"I love you too, Mulder. I knew you meant it, and I felt the same way--I was just afraid to feel that way." I say, pausing. "Maybe... Maybe 'Oh brother,' was the right reply. Just think. It all led up to this. This is the right path. I'm just so glad I chose this path..."

He moves closer and kisses me. I kiss him back, but the kiss is chaste and short yet wonderful. I was the one who broke the kiss to finish the sentence I had begun. "Because it led to this. Just to be here, right now." I finish, and kiss him again. I haphazardly pull off my jacket and toss it to the foot of the bed--it's getting rather hot in here. I don't mind a bit, and I don't think Mulder minds either. 

I feel something I haven't felt in a long time. True happiness. This is all I've wanted in years, my every fantasy. Except for a child... And for most women, unlike myself, what Mulder and I would do that night would lead to a child. For me, nothing seems to work. I push the depressing thought out of my mind, thinking only that miracles do happen. More emotions flood to my brain, I feel loved, wild, feral--wait, scratch those last two. They remind me too much of Padgett. I break the kiss again, just to look into Mulder's beautiful hazel eyes. This is something I've only imagined before today... Unlike at work, his eyes are truly alive--filled with lust and love and emotion. I slip his shirt over his head and realize that my every fantasy, all my daydreams... are coming true. Him and I laying in his bed, me staring into those beautiful hazel eyes, looking at those great lips--longing to kiss them again. This could quite possibly--no, _it is _the best night of my life.

I move to roll over and see Mulder next to me. Suddenly, the events of the previous night come flooding back into my memory. Thoughts fly in rapid succession through my mind. Mulder and I... We... Took things to the next level, oh god, and I'm worried! That wasn't supposed to happen, it never happened in all the daydreams or fantasies--then it was just the actions without the consequences. Do we have to have the consequences? What if... What if I was just confused? What if I just did it to do it? For sex? No, no, Dana! Don't say that! You know you love Mulder, you have for years! What if he was just going along with it for sex? Yeah, Dana, like that would happen. If Mulder wanted sex all the time Lord knows he could get it--who wouldn't want to sleep with him? I always told myself I wouldn't sleep with my partner--what if I only did it because I'm back on the rebelling streak again? Like with Ed Jerse? Is it possible to make that mistake twice? Dana! I scold myself, near panic, you love Mulder! I'm not rebelling. I'm being irrational, yes, that's it, irrational. I need to calm down. I need to think. I need to be alone.

I slowly crawl out of bed, not waking Mulder. I get dressed in the same clothes I wore yesterday, being that I have nothing else to put on. In his bathroom I manage to locate a brush, and brush my red hair silently, still thinking. Still pondering, more so, still worrying. What if one night of passion ruins everything? Could one night tear apart years of partnership, or friendship? What the Hell did I get myself into? I complicated everything... I was never supposed to do this. I walk back into the bedroom and grab my jacket. Just before I leave him there, I realize I'm being inconsiderate. I don't want him to think I regret last night--I don't--not yet anyway. I have a lot of thinking to do, but there's one thing that takes no thinking... I love Mulder. The question is, should I love him? Am I allowed to? Is it right? I can't just leave him here. I grab a piece of paper and search for a pen. Finding one, I write:

Sorry to run out on you, Mulder. I need to go home and think about some things--a lot has changed, you know that. I don't regret anything that happened, and I don't want you to think I do. I meant what I said last night... I just need to think.

Scully

I place the note on the table and silently walk out of his apartment.

Walking into my own apartment, I look around. Nothing has changed yet everything has changed. Nobody else knows it, there's no evidence of it, but Mulder and I did what I told myself I would never do. We put our partnership, our friendship, in jeopardy. I sigh outwardly, and realize I'm over-analyzing things again. I need a nice hot bath, I realize.

Filling the tub, I sit in my robe still thinking. The tub is filled, the bubbles bubbling, and the water warm. I slowly lower myself into the hot tub, sighing as it relaxes my body and my mind. Okay, I tell myself, time to get down to business. Mulder--I know I love him, but could this be wrong? I force myself to think of time with Mulder, all we've done together... All that's led up to last night.

Suddenly, flashes of us together go through my mind. Laying together in the woods, me quietly saying "Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky." Mulder convincing me to sing "Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog" for him, he's the only person I'll sing for. Mulder holding me after Donnie Pfaster tried to cut off my fingers... Mulder and I under an umbrella while frogs fell from the sky, Mulder and I dancing to "Walking In Memphis," Mulder and I kissing on New Years Eve... Mulder there for me when I'd thought the cancer had beat me, Mulder there for me when I was returned from whoever the hell abducted me... Mulder being there after Emily... Mulder was always there. I know it now, it wasn't wrong.

It can't be wrong.

For some friends, for some partners, there are consequences... Horrible ones. For Mulder and I? We are not simply friends, not simply partners, we are soul mates. I know it now and I think somewhere inside I always did. The only consequences we may have will be me running out early, and maybe some awkwardness at the office at first. Awkwardness won't last, we're comfortable with one another. I know it now. I feel bad about leaving... I pull myself out of the bath before it's even gone lukewarm, and get dressed. I'm heading back to Mulder's place. I've done all my thinking and now it's time to do some talking... And then, who knows what else.


End file.
